Esplinade

Awesome Vintage Chair

2012-01-13T16:18:00.000-08:00

Check out this chair that I bought for $5!

Sweet.

I'm a welder. I weld.

2011-08-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

I went to Oregon for a few weeks this summer to visit my grandparent and my grandpa taught me the basics of welding.

We made this table as my learning project. The wood is maple (I think) and it's all end grain. We cut each block and then glued them all together, you can see it a little better in the black and white pictures. I think we did a pretty good job.

A Few Things About Peanut

2011-02-12T13:49:00.001-08:00

There are a few things that have happened this week that I can't ever forget.

1. She pooped in the toilet all by herself! Every time I change her poopy diapers she insists on seeing it. It's like she refuses to think that she actually deposited a dirty investment in her diaper unless she can see proof. Well, I tell her: "Pen, you can see your poop if you go in a toilet," on the off chance that she might actually take me up on that offer. It's a strange incentive, I know.

Pen is pretty good at warning us before she makes her dirty deposit, but I've never quite been able to get her to do it on the toilet. I'll sit her on the toilet for a couple of minutes, she'll pee, ask for her diaper then poop in the diaper about 5 minutes later. This week I was determined would be different. I kept telling her when she was on the potty that I'd go & buy her lots & lots of candy if she pooped on the toilet. SHE DID IT. Funny thing, she wanted to look at her poop more than she wanted the candy. She even insisted on smelling the poop. Go right ahead, my dear. After she smelled it, she just kept chanting, "Eww, disgusting!"

Potty training victory will soon be ours. I just know it.

2. It snowed this week. Penelope LOVES playing in the snow; she especially loves making snowmen & snowballs. The morning after, Pen & I were in my studio working on a project when Penelope noticed the maintenance guys shoveling our walks. Clearly upset by their industriousness, she started banging as hard as she could on the window & yelling at them, "DOP! DOP!! NO CLEAN! NO CLEAN SNOW!!!" She did that for a few minutes before giving up, stomping into the hallway, plopping on the floor & pouting, "Dammit, no clean snow."

First, I'm not swearing anymore & second, she hasn't said that word since Christmas, so you can imagine my shock when she used it. I was also shocked at how well she used it, too. My little girl knows how to swear.

3. Penelope is now in a "toddler bed" a.k.a. her Pteranodon nest. She loves dinosaur train, so we call her tent her Pteranodon nest to get her excited about being in there. We've been laying down the law the last couple of weeks to try & keep her in her tent when she goes down for naps & bedtime. We've had quite a bit of success, too! Penelope now knows that if she gets out, not only will we turn off her doggy light, but we'll shut the door & give her a time out if necessary. We're NOT messing around here. I don't want to be dealing with bedtime training when Felix comes to town!

The other day, she woke up from her nap, got out of her tent, knocked on the door & ran back into her tent to wait for me to get her! I thought it was super adorable. She really is a good little girl.

The Peanut and the Doggie Door

2011-01-18T14:48:00.000-08:00

I snapped these over winter break. Nels makes me smile.

News-Bouquet

2010-12-08T16:01:00.000-08:00

I saw some of these at a friends house and thought they were rather rad so I made a bouquet for our apartment.

I found the pog/faces on the ground at school, they're actually ads for Orca grants.

Poopsicles

2010-08-20T15:10:00.000-07:00

Last night after we put Penelope down to bed, I kept hearing whines coming from her room. Normally I let her sort things out on her own (she's a big girl) & fall asleep by herself, but this time I heard her ask specifically for me & water. I couldn't let her down.

I wobbled up stairs & went in her room to ask if she wanted water. Not wanting to make a fuss, I had intentionally left the light off in the room & allowed the light from the hallway to filter in. I couldn't really see much, but when I walked up to the crib to ask Pen what was the matter she said, "Poop!" I couldn't see anything, but I did know she wanted to go potty.

FYI: Penelope calls both pee & poop, poop.

So, I grabbed her to take her to the potty to see if she'd be interested in going & LO & BEHOLD!!! She was naked. Aw, shoot. I turned on the bedroom light to discover what she had been up to. She had taken off all of her clothes, grabbed the toy box next to her bed, emptied the box of its contents & PEED IN THE BOX. She didn't get all of her pee in the box, though; It sprayed all over pretty much everything in her crib.

Awesome. Welcome to potty training.

Finishing . . .

2010-08-19T15:34:00.000-07:00

Sentences.

Last Sunday night when we went on our usual walk. Penelope is pretty good at staying in her stroller without complaint, unless we stop. Not sure we stopped a whole lot, but she wanted to get out anyway.

We got her out & let her push the stroller for a bit. That never works. She wants to do it all by herself & still doesn't know how to steer. Chris grabbed her & put her on his shoulders. She liked that so much, she started rocking back and forth with a huge smile on her face.

Chris: What is she doing up there?

Me: She's pretending she's riding on um. . . a . . .

Penelope: HORSE!!

Penelope finished my sentence for me!! This was a first. I thought it was so adorable to hear such a sweet, little voice finish my sentence for me. What a doll.

Penelope & Her Words

2010-08-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

Penelope is funny with her words. She's pretty good at pronouncing most things, but every once in a while a few words come out completely wrong.

Here are some of those words:

Peanuts (plural) sounds like penis.

Chalk sounds like cock.

Frog still sounds like f#$%

Flag also sounds like f#$%

Shirt sounds like s$^%

And then there's one word that she knows & says correctly. Yesterday she was playing with something in her car seat & exclaimed, "dammit!" when it dropped on the floor. I wonder where she learned that from.

I've got to start washing my mouth out with soap.

Goodbye Family!

2010-07-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

Sesame Street: Potty Time

2010-07-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

Penelope. This is for you.

Annie Get Your Gun

2010-07-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

Over the fourth of July weekend we ventured over to Grandma & Grandpa Newton's for family dinner. Penelope & Ayden had a crazy fun time playing with the vintage dressups. Penelope especially enjoyed wearing the hard hat & holding either the toy machine gun or toy rifle. I thought it was pretty cute.

Ayden also has an obsession over Penelope's shoes, so she's wearing Ayden's cowboy boots in the pic. So cute.

Reason #18736 Why a Trustworthy Dentist is Important

2010-07-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

Our dental experience in California was traumatizing to say the least. We went through one dishonest dentist after another before we found one that we could trust. Why is that?

Upon getting dental insurance here in Utah, I emailed my mom to see who her dentist was as she had been raving and raving about her dentist for years. Dr. Blackwood married the daughter of a family friend, so my mom knew him & always told me that she trusted his medical opinion. As soon as I found out they'd take our insurance, I booked appointments for all of us. Dr. Blackwood's secretary said that it would be okay for Penelope to hang out at my appointment. OK. Nice. I don't like the thought of finding a babysitter.

Today was teeth cleaning day for the Esplin fam, SLC division. Upon walking into the office, Dr. Blackwood greeted me by name & asked all sorts of questions about my parents, Penelope, my family, etc. He even took the time to show Penelope the toys and play with her. Cool!

The dental hygienist took me to get X-rays & start on the cleaning process while Dr. Blackwood spent time playing with Penelope. I was afraid Penelope might cause a ruckus while I was gone, so I set her on one of the chairs with her blanket & my iPhone (which was playing Babe, her favorite pig movie).

While I was in the chair, the secretary came up to me & asked if perhaps Penelope would be more interested in Nemo on the big TV rather than watching Babe on the phone; I agreed, trusting that she'd probably put my phone somewhere. Maybe I should've asked for her to bring it to me, but I'm pretty sure my mouth was full of mirrors & a suction device to really say much of anything.

The cleaning went pretty well & the hygienist and Dr. Blackwood agreed that my teeth were doing really well, save a few broken fillings (darn you blasted crooked California dentists!) and a couple of minor cavities. Dr. Blackwood even went so far as to bust out his really nice camera to take close-up shots of my broken fillings. Yeah, those definitely need to be replaced. I left the chair feeling pretty empowered over my teeth (unusual for dentist appointments in my experience).

Penelope and I sat in the chair while the hygienist & Dr. Blackwood counted her teeth. She was so scared, but she did pretty well. Hopefully next time she'll be more receptive to strangers pointing gloved fingers in her mouth.

Once we were done, Penelope and I headed up to the front to gather our things & get the estimate on the work needed to be done. Where was my phone? I looked all around the lobby & couldn't find it anywhere all while trying to keep Penelope from spilling filtered water all over the floor. She was losing it. I was losing it.

Finally, I asked the secretary if she put it somewhere. She had put it on top of the refrigerator next to the water filter. Not there. The two of us searched through toy bins, under chairs, around plants & no phone. She called it. I called it. I knew the ringer was on, but I couldn't hear it anywhere! I was starting to panic. OH NO. I'm unplugged! What will I do without Tweetdeck! GoogleReader! MAIL! CATAN!!!!!

After about 10 minutes of thoroughly searching the entire office, the secretary started to call patients that were in the lobby around the same time. There was a mother that was there with her son, who could've mistook it for a toy & walked off with it. Perhaps? Nope. Now Dr. Blackwood caught wind of the missing iPhone. He sprung into action.

He recalled a woman (not a patient) who had been waiting for her friend (a patient-also a lawyer), and figures she was the only one that the secretary hadn't contacted about the phone. He called the patient and calmly said something like: One of my patient's is missing her phone. If your friend has it, could you please tell her to return the phone to the office by the end of the day? No questions asked. Otherwise, I'll be contacting the police to get this resolved.

What would you know, the phone was delivered to the dental office next door and in my hands in less than 15 minutes! Seriously. So awesome. I couldn't have been more overjoyed to see my phone! As it turns out this woman had deleted my mail information and was in the process of deleting all of my contacts. She was going to make it hers. What a tool. Who steals a phone? Who steals a phone from a 2 year old in a dental office? Obviously a crazy lady with red glasses.

Moral to the story: don't steal phones & make sure you have a rockstar for a dentist.

Fourth of July Staycation

2010-07-07T11:44:00.001-07:00

Chris and I were fantasizing about going camping, hiking or doing something that involved getting out of the Salt Lake valley for our Fourth of July weekend. We made sure we had a good time, but we didn't really end up doing any of those things. Sort of.

We didn't feel like packing up the house & camping, so we decided to backyard camp instead. Penelope had a great time playing in the tent, but didn't actually end up sleeping in the tent. She was just much too excited to explore the backyard at 1am to sleep. She ended up sleeping in her crib. At about 5am the birds started squawking, so we also ended up in our own beds after a while. It was still fun.

Before we slept, we had a nice bonfire in the backyard with marshmallows, nutella, graham crackers and sausages. Nutella is the way to go if you want to make a good s'more, btw.

After we woke up & recovered from the late night, we headed up to Park City to wander around. We grabbed some lunch & headed to one of my favorite haunts: the duck pond. I remember going here several times a year with my family to feed the ducks. It was a real treat to share this moment with Chris & Penelope.

We headed to the Alpine slide to see if it was something that Penelope could do with us, but we totally bailed. I couldn't seem to justify spending $50 for all of us to go down a little slide. Someday we'll do it. Not yesterday, though.

We hung around Main Street & wandered around galleries. Some were definitely better than others. We walked through an art gallery of some photographer who put up field notes on his photos (cool), but I don't quite understand how you could get a wide-angle image with a 300mm lens. The lady at the gallery didn't get it either. She was ANNOYING with all caps!

Penelope had a grand time at the park just down the street from Main Street. She had the most fun hanging out in a little walkway tube. She also had a lot of fun spreading her legs & peeing all over part of the play structure. WTF. How did she get her diaper to move out of the way?!? Thankfully no one else saw so we were able to discretely clean up her mess.

We had a lot of fun, but now we're pooped. I'm certainly ready for a nap.

Mr. Elephant

2010-07-03T15:56:00.000-07:00

For my portfolio to apply to the Industrial Design program at BYU, I was told to include sketches and drawings. Unfortunately I didn't have any good drawings, so this semester I came back to school for sixth or seventh hour art once a week or so. As of today, my drawing is complete.

TaDa!

My new blog

2010-06-26T15:43:00.000-07:00

It's called It's Gotta Get Worse for a Day, and it's about my adventures as the youngest and only one at home. Hopefully it's not stupid. over and out.

-Brookinator

Flower Girl

2010-06-21T22:19:00.000-07:00

Between the prairie-style dress, the moppy hair and the flower she's smelling; Penelope looks like a hippie. What a sweet little tree-hugger.

CHEESE

2010-06-21T22:14:00.000-07:00

Penelope now knows that when I have the camera out she's supposed to say, "Cheese!"

She even puts my camera equipment up to her eye (like a lens or the flash or something) and faces my direction and says, "CHEESE!" like she's the one taking a photo. I tried to see if she would take a picture with my camera, but she backed out. Maybe it's because the camera weighs 15 lbs.

The Most Interesting Man in the World

2010-06-17T07:15:00.001-07:00

Watching Chris study the GMAT isn't the most interesting thing in the world, but he was there & I wanted to test out my new flash diffuser. This is what Chris looks like on the nights when he's not pumping iron:

I Haven't had Hair this Short Since I was a Toddler.

2010-05-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

Here's me with my giant mass of hair.  I went without a haircut, not even a trim, for seventeen months.  Yes that's right, seventeen months.  This particular photo must have been shot on a Friday, because for the entire school year I crimped my hair every Friday. (Except one in March when I forgot...)

Here's me with my giant mass of hair again.  Except obviously it's not attached to my head anymore.  The top of the braid was a good inch and a half in diameter.  It was intense.

Ta Da!

"Sweet" Graduation Gift

2010-05-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

Really though, it's oober rad. I won a free cake from a lady in my ward back in January at a Relief Society event. But that's when I was doing the no-sweets thing with my friends and then I lost track of time and blah blah she never made my cake. Anyway, she decided to surprise me with this fine work of art. It's fashioned after my Graduation Announcements. Thanks Margie!

Penelope Video: Bowls for Shoes

2010-05-24T20:11:00.001-07:00

Don't worry, I washed them before using them with food.

Siblings

2010-05-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

At Scott's birthday party on Thursday, I made Chris, Scott and Lindsay pose for a family photo. Chris boasted of his muscles and Scott suggested that he and Lindsay test them out by jumping on Chris's back. Great idea!

Funny Penelope Videos

2010-05-17T14:39:00.000-07:00

I've been emailing these videos around to the grandparents for the last couple of months, may as well start posting them here.

1. Penelope just randomly decides that she's a monkey in the middle of the line at Cafe Rio. She hung off the railing for a good 30 seconds before I could get the video going. Her attempt here is a little distracted, but so cute.

2. Penelope was insistent on wearing my coat sometime last month. She pranced around for a good 2 hours in it!

3. Penelope and I were at a birthday party where she discovered her love for frosting and cupcakes. Her messy face just cracks me up!

Muscles

2010-05-13T11:59:00.000-07:00

Chris just bought a power rack for our basement. It's huge. I'm not sure we can fit much of anything else in the basement now.

Last night, Chris and I had a great time working out & being silly. Chris usually takes about 45 minutes to an hour to do his full work out, but last night. . . it took us two hours. My neon red unitard could have been a distraction. Not sure.

I just started the workout regimen that Chris has been doing for the last 5+ months; I'm super sore, but pretty excited about the whole thing!

Thank Heavens for the Internets.

2010-05-03T13:03:00.000-07:00

Chris and Scott had fun ripping in half the only telephone book we have in the house.
Of course, Scott was disappointed that we only had one lying around.

Good thing we've got the internets.

"A man without a mustache is like a cup of tea without Sugar" -Old English Proverb

2010-04-28T17:26:00.000-07:00

I have decided to compile a small stash of staches because I love them so much. Yet there is a fine line between a flaming hot mustache and looking like a little kid who just ate a chocolate bar. So here are my hots and nots.

Not.

The uni and soul patch thing just make it that much more hideous. We are not the three musketeers here. (Though we may be a mustacheer... that was lame. sorry.)

Hot.

A well groomed thick stache with nicely shaped brows and fluffy hair. Lovely.

Not.

Makes me want to throw up in my pants. Ew. I can't even comment.

Hot.

Not only a fabulous swimmer, but a fabulous facial hairer as well. And the semi-unkempt hair is just an added plus.

Not.

Far too triangular. It's just so thick and yet short and I don't even know how to say it, but it's bad.

Hot.

Yes. Yes. and... yes. Perfect thickness, and length, and it's just superb.

Not.

Yes I had to include a lady-stache. It was necessary. It was part of a contest so I give her a few kudos, because she had cajones, but it's still gross.

Hot.

I can't figure out why I like this. It's really very thick, but the way it sits on his face is just breath taking. I can't get over it.

Not.

In Brooke's words, "Oh Geez." Everything about this man and his choice of hair is unacceptable.

Hottest.

I saved the best for last. I want my husband to have a stache like this. It's the ideal 80s mustache of my dreams. Thanks Tommy for showing the world how it's done.

All Grown Up

2010-04-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

I swear Penelope aged a whole year on her birthday. She just seems so old to me now.

Last Thursday, Penelope and I thought we'd hit up D.I. on our way back from a blogging brunch. While we were browsing the shoe department, Penelope snatched some green rain boots off the shelf. She frantically tore off her shoes to put the boots on.

I tried to take them off, but she wouldn't budge! Well, I guess Penelope needed a new pair of boots. We bought them. She wouldn't even take them off to take a bath! I even tried hiding them from her by putting them on a high shelf in her closet, but she found a way to get them down.

Finally, on Friday we figured out why she had this obsession with her boots. While Linnley was baby sitting, they were watching Kipper (Penelope's favorite show) and Kipper has the same pair of green rain boots! Penelope pointed that out to Linnley by pointing and screaming, "BOOTS!"

Happy Birthday, Goo!

2010-04-22T14:17:00.000-07:00

Penelope is TWO now. I just can't believe how fast that went.

My new flash was put to good use this morning!

This morning Penelope woke up at 6am all ready to start her birthday festivities. I made some yummy sticky buns that we used as her "cake". She needed no direction from us to blow out the candles besides a few shrieks of warning when she tried to touch the flame.

Before the sticky buns were done, she was whining and whining. This was our conversation:

Me: Do you want a nana?
P: NO. (more whining)

Me: Do you want some milk?
P: NO. (more whining)

Me: Do you want some candy?
P: NO. (more whining)

Me: Do you want some toast?
P: NO. (more whining)

Me: Do you want some chocolate?
P: NO. (more whining)

Me: Do you want to open some presents?
P: OKAY!!

Oh my goodness. This girl cracks me up.

P.S. Notice the photo is just slightly darker without the flash?

2010-04-10T15:27:00.000-07:00

What Follows is a report of our Spring Break Canyoneering Trip down Solame Canyon

The trip was planned as a three day trip. Two days down the Canyon and one day hiking out Workman Creek.

DAY 1

We got to the trail head at 11AM and started a six mile hike up 1500 feet to the top of the Canyon. At the top of the canyon we came to a 30ft waterfall and hiked around it to the right. The weather was great and we were in a pretty place. There was a 45 foot rappel off of a tree next to a waterfall and after two more hours hiking down river we set up camp on some rock ledges along the river.

DAY 2

We go up at 7am, ate and broke camp. We started down stream. The rock had been sandstone and now turned to basalt and pink granite. The granite looked like a kitchen counter top made into sluices and slides. We had a great time sliding down the granite slides and off of 5-10 foot drops into pools. We came to a 65ft repel into a grotto with a natural arch above and a 60 deep pool with another 45 ft rappel out of the grotto and down a waterfall. The first rappel took some time with the bags getting stuck and finally Linda, Shelley, Brooke and the four bags were down. I rappelled to the end of the rope and was still 10ft or so above the water. I had a second 100 ft rope that I dropped. I had hoped it would float or one of the girls would grab it, but it sank 60 feet to the bottom of the pool.

After I dropped into the water I immediately noticed the water was freezing and there was no sunlight in the grotto. Linda and the girls were against the walls trying to stay out of the water and shaking from the cold.

I swam to the far side of the pool looking for the rappel ring that was supposed to be in place. No ring. It took me 15-20 minutes to find a chock stone under the water line and clear out debris to rig the rappel ring. It took another 30 minutes to rappel the bags and girls down the second waterfall. I went over the edge and could not keep my feet because of the slick moss behind the water. There was a lot of water and I had to hang in my harness and let myself down. The harness cut into my legs and by the time I was down I was hypothermic and shaking.

It took us an hour to warm up and eat lunch. We hiked down river for 2 more hours and set up camp on some huge rocks in the middle of the river. It rained that night.

DAY3

Day three started at 7AM. We got up and packed and headed down stream. Again there were granite sluices and drops and we started having fun again. After 3-4 hours we came to the last waterfall/rappel at the bottom of Salome.

I now recognized that the river was in flood and the water was colder than usual. I rigged the rappel and let the girls and bags down a 50 foot waterfall. There were boulders and a 50 yard swim to a 20 foot slide and 10 foot drop to another 30 yard swim until you were out of the water.

I let the girls and bags down . The bags kept getting stuck so it took some time. I finally swung over the edge of the fall and started rappelling. I got about 10 down when the ropes stuck. There was so much water hitting me I had to stand on my tip toes to breath. I jerked the ropes, pulled one way and another. I would jump, trying to unweight the ropes and then I would be knocked to the side and end up under water, get my feet under me and push my head out to breath. After 10 minutes the ropes were still stuck and I was cold and tired.

I thought that I could die here if I didn't think fast. I would not survive the fall, and what would my family do to get out. I had to get out.

In self rappelling you have a rope hooked to your harness that goes to the top through the rappel ring and down to the rappel device on your harness. You hold the rope behind your back to control your decent. With both ropes stuck I took the loose/rappel rope and tied a loop and hooked it into my harness. I planned to leave the rope looped through the repel device and repel down the free rope. Only problem I could not lift my body weight with all of that water hitting me to get my harness free from the carabiner holding the ropes. This took another 10-15 minutes and I was literally at the end of my rope. I could barely hold my head out of the water and I didn't have any more bright ideas.

My last ditch effort was to cut the rope going from my harness to the rappel device and if the rope was stuck enough and didn't let loose, I would repel down the free rope. I had to have a knife. Chris my oldest son had given me a commando knife for Christmas and I had put it on my belt. I reached down and there it was. I began to cut the rope. This was either going to work or it was going to hurt a lot. I can still see the rope with the knife half way though it thinking that this was it. The rope held. I rappelled down in about 10 seconds.

When I got down I couldn't talk I was so cold and tired. Shelley had stayed behind in the cold water and towed me to safety through the 50 yard swim, the slide and the second 30 yard swim. She ask me if I was kicking, I was for all I was worth but it must not have helped much. Shelley is my hero. I took over an hour taking all of our wet clothes off and getting in our sleeping bags to finally quit shaking.

Hopefully, now all the drama was over. We hiked down to the confluence with Workman Creek. Well, Workman Creek was no creek it was in full flood and we could barely cross it.

After over an hour of trying to cross to one side and gaining 50-60 feet and then recrossing it became obvious we were not going to make 5 or 6 miles up the "creek". I studied the wall of the canyon and saw that the left was 2000 ft. straight up. The right wall looked to have a plateau about 400 ft. up. I started climbing rock to rock trying to clear cactus out of the way. After an hour or so we gained the ridge. There was no plateau, only a 2000ft 45 degree slope of loose rock, from baseball sized to 2-3 foot sized rocks.

To climb you had to climb with your hands, knees and feet. Truly, hand to hand combat. This was dangerous. If you stepped on the small rocks the would slide down the slope. We could not afford to fall. We climbed all afternoon and evening until it got dark.

Linda found two long rocks extending across the slope forming a trough. It was big enough to hold three people, of course we had four. We were all cold and exhausted. Linda spent the night sitting against a rock. Nobody slept much.

DAY4

We had climbed about 1500 ft the prior day and there was 500 ft more of hand to hand combat climbing to the ridge above Workman Creek. When we gained the ridge we saw cliffs and a big valley. We were out of water. We headed down the valley and down a dry creek bed looking for water. The girls found some small puddles which I filtered and we all filled our water bottles. We had found water just in time. We were getting desperate. We then bushwhacked up a steep slope with dead trees, brambles and cactus. The thousand foot climb took us 2-3 hours. We finally gained the plateau and kept bushwhacking down the far slope towards where we believed the trail was. At 7PM after a 12 hour day of climbing, bushwhacking and lugging very heavy packs. Mine weighed over 50 pounds.(even without the rope hanging in the waterfall or at the bottom of the grotto) Everything was wet and heavy. We went to sleep and the girls cooked "Santa Fe Chicken", we ate some even though it tasted lousy. We slept dry and were so tired, we slept all night.

DAY5

We got up at 8AM, our clothes were dry, our packs were lighter and we had pudding for breakfast. We hiked 1/2 hour to the trail and after another hour and a half we were at the car.

We stopped in Gobe and ate at Sonic until we could eat and drink no more.

Two more hours and we were home.

I had lost 8 pounds even after Sonic. I had fractured three ribs over my left kidney and had blood around my kidney from the waterfall thrashing. I had been peeing blood for three days.

My right forearm tendons were so swollen I could not close my hand and I felt as if I had been beaten by a baseball bat.

The trip received 5 stars in the guide. With the rivers in flood and the two extra days I give it no stars. I am just glad to be alive.

CORDELL ESPLIN

Scott's English Project (Thanks to Chris and Melissa)

2010-03-10T15:50:00.000-08:00

2010-01-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

Eric's account of meeting the President Micheletti, the President of Honduras:

So I want to tell you about what I just did. I had to leave early because we had an appointment at 11 at the president's house (the president of Honduras). There is a lady in my ward who has a television show in the morning for the president. She works in the "white house" of Honduras and, being and absolutely awesome lady, hooked us up with an all access tour. We showed up and hung out in the television studio for a while, then she took us around and showed us the place where the president makes all the announcements on tv. Then we went outside and took pictures with really old statues. While we were doing that some really important military guy came up and he was friends with one of the ladies who was taking us around, so he exercised some of his power and let us into the president's office. So we went into where he meets with diplomats and stuff, and we even took a picture at his desk sitting in his chair. The military guy liked it so much he even took a picure himself. So I have a picture of myself in micheletti's chair, at his desk. Then they walked in and interrupted micheletti in one of his meetings, and he said he could meet with us for 2 minutes for a photo. So we walked into some other room and we got to meet him and take a quick photo with him. He was actually a really nice guy, and he asked us for a book of mormon. Not knowing that we would actually meet anybody we didn't bring one, so we're going to send him a nice hard cover one. Then afterward we went to the room where the president meets with his cabinet, and then to the president's dining hall for a quick snack before we left. All in all a pretty freaking sweet trip. We also got to talk to the reporters about some of the inside stuff that the public didn't know about micheletti and zalaya. Basically zalaya is a pretty dang scummy dude, and micheletti isn't that scummy.

My first blog giveaway!!!!

2009-12-07T16:28:00.000-08:00

I feel the need to put four exclamation marks (a record for me) because I have won something, something good, for telling a joke!! It all started on the second of December. I was skimming cjane's blog when I stumbled across a post announcing...

My heart raced with excitement. I quickly read the few comments at the time an discovered...

I quickly wrote something before I went to seminary. Shelley wasn't too happy. It went something like...

This was the best I had. The sad part was that I sort of forgot ab

out it, and so I failed to check back at the end of the day to see if I had won. Five days later I was perusing the cjane blog, and to my supreme joy and excitement I found...

Perhaps this will justify the four exclamation marks, Hmmmm?

The long Awaited Diana Photos!!!

2009-12-02T06:16:00.000-08:00

Diana, the Greek Goddess of the Hunt, is the name of a lovely analogue camera that I bought this year. It is a delightful nostalgic blue with a hugo flash that is the only thing that requires batteries.

Everything else; the focus, the aperture, the shutter speed, and even the shutter itself, are completely manual. Mom and Dad still don't understand the reason I don't just go with digital, and I'll admit, it is a ton easier and simpler. But there is one reason that outweighs everything, in my mind at least. That thing is the flaws.

In a digital camera only

one thing is put to chance. That is if the picture will upload or

not. But with the Diana, everything

is entirely up in the air. This is the beauty. I'll let the pictures

speak for themselves.

A Little Music

2009-11-17T10:57:00.000-08:00

Esplin to Morgan

Things to be Thankful for

2009-11-11T20:26:00.000-08:00

I think I speak for all of the Esplin clan when I say we're very grateful Cordell escaped a most terrible doom today.

I Am Leslie Hall.

2009-10-24T23:30:00.000-07:00

This Saturday I attended a Halloween Party with my Father. We won't be in town on the 31st so I didn't have a costume prepared. No need to fear, it only takes a day and a trip to Hobby Lobby* to become Leslie. *Hobby Lobby is Ms. Hall's preferred craft outlet.

I even be-gemed my own sweater from Savers! I call it Galactic Blossom.

This party was for older folks but I did find two adults who had actually heard of Leslie Hall.

Favorite?

The hair was a toughy, I just couldn't quite match her volume.

Don't worry, I haven't chubbed out. Brookalicious helped me create a butt/thigh/belly combo.

Leslie Hall, you are my Hero.

Helmet Head

2009-09-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight we hung out at my grandma & grandpa Newton's house. It was so fun to take Penelope into the play room to play with the same toys I did when I was her age. She had so much fun with the vintage dolls and super old-school rocking horse. But. . .

Her favorite item to play with was the helmet. She kept it on until I took it off (about 5 minutes).

Bed Hair

2009-09-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

We've had some good bed hair recently. Penelope's hair is getting a lot longer and much more unruly. Now I'm remembering my mom spraying "no more tangles" in my hair and brushing it when I was little. I remember she did that at night and put our hair in curlers on Saturday nights so we'd have curly hair for church.

Penelope is getting to a fun stage where I could put little pigtails in her hair, but I'm WAY TOO lazy to find her some good elastic bands.

See where Penelope gets it? I slept with my hair wet. It's always fun to see what happens when I sleep like that.

The Garden of Forkly Delights

2009-09-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

I have finished. I only made a portion of the painting and only the important characters, but after a month and a half of burned fingers, smelling like candles, and potentially inhaling toxic fumes my vision has finally come to fruition. So here they are, my lovely "forkinators"...
(This is a reenactment of the painting "The Garden of Earthly Delights" by Hieronymus Bosch. It consists of forks and spoons only, no glue and no paint. The red stuff is fondant.)

Thank you Melissa for the idea to make this and thank you mom for helping me get the cake out of the pan.

1950's Secretary, My Dream Job?

2009-08-31T15:45:00.001-07:00

Today was career day. Shelley and I therefore dressed up, albeit more than anyone else in the school. I was a 1950's Secretary, or 1930's, I'm not sure. My crowning piece (excuse the pun) was my hair. I woke up EXTRA early in order to do it up, and here are the results...

At long last I have an idea of how those girls did their hair! Fifteen bobby pins, give or take.

Keep in mind: I did my hair completely blind from the back. I call this an accomplishment.

Head shot with the glasses. How riveting.

Don't you just love it? I even used my typewriter case as my backpack for the day!

Back to "work"

Like Mother, Like Daughter

2009-08-30T20:42:00.001-07:00

Chris and I have noticed Penelope's uncanny sense of coordination. Maybe we're super proud parents, but we're just constantly amazed at how well she can keep a beat, shake her booty and twirl in circles.

Recently, I came across some old ballet costumes. One that I wore when I was four looked particularly small, possibly the size for a 16 month old. As soon as Penelope squeezed into that little leo she pranced around the house like a little princess. Or like someone from Alice and wonderland (which is what the performance the costume was for).

Doesn't she look like she's walking the runway?

I don't know where this dance move came from, but it's adorable.

Striking a pose.

Here I am at four years old, posing for the camera. Some days I miss ballet tremendously. I hope Penelope will love dance as much as I do.

Fuud.

2009-08-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

So I've been making all this food and taking pictures for the fun of it. I was afraid it was rather pointless until I realized that I have a blog to boast on...
(p.s. the first three pictures were taken w/ my phone, so they're not as good)

Sweet and Sour Chicken.
Took a while, but tasted amazing.

Pasta I made up. It reminds me of those TV dinner things, except way yummier. Brookie's friends finished it off pretty quickly.

Left: Eggs with onions and cheese.
Right: Broccoli steamed and sauted in soy sauce (aka Lindsay style).
Suprisingly good together.

Oober fluffy waffles full of blueberries and chocolate chips.
They were so much simpler than I expected!

Chocolate Mousse. mmm.

There's a hostage situation over at IS•LY

2009-08-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

The Nels has struck again.

Crazy Dog.

2009-08-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

As I was pulling up to the house after Cross Country this morning I noticed something strange on the wall... it was Molly. She was majestically stationed on the corner of the brick wall waiting for someone to come home. It was relatively amusing to see her keeping watch.

This is why we honeymooned in Cancun . . .

2009-08-07T11:43:00.001-07:00

Weddings and Babysitters

2009-08-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

Weddings are infinitely harder when you have a kid to tote around. Scott, thankfully, babysat while we were in the temple.

Linnley is the 5th bride to wear that dress! I kept thinking that dress is the wedding equivalent to the sisterhood of the traveling pants. Every one of us has different body types, but we were all able to pull it off!

The bridesmaid dresses were a lot more comfortable after we sewed the wrap part shut. Black was a good color for all of us.

Grandpa Scott & Judy. Grandpa did a great job on the wedding ceremony.

Ayden was so happy to see Lin & Nathan come out of the temple doors, but not happy about that kiss!

Here's my dad, ready and waiting for the Sartorialist to take his picture.

We're Under Attack

2009-07-20T18:16:00.000-07:00

Brookster didn't do it. She wasn't that hungry. Shelley is too squeamish. Cordell? He's too picky about what he eats. Molly would be crying from the cactus spines in her nose. Besides, she doesn't roam around in the front yard. I can only assume that we are under attack from some giant flesh eating, desert dwelling monster that has started with the golden barrel in the front yard as an appetizer. What to do, what to do.

Home, Sweet Desert Home

2009-07-20T16:33:00.000-07:00

My lemon tree is home...

...to a tiny new mourning dove.

The desert is home to rattlesnakes,

which live in rocks likes these..

...and is also home to stray bicycles.

Some ground squirrels live in holes in the ground, with back doors not far away.

Bunnies lives in bigger holes like this one, which is well defended with cactus bits. I'd like to know how they got those pieces of teddy bear cholla around the front door. The nearby back door is equally protected.

When birds don't find lovely lemon trees,

they build nests in saguaro cactuses,

which become cactus condos.

This is the saguaro low rent district.

This is my less than humble abode. It is not in the low rent district.

Nonetheless, it my desert home, where I cuddle into my bed

at night with my sweetheart and rest from the world outside.

I have a sweet view of the desert hills and valleys by my house,

where the other desert dwellers live.

Thanks for Bailing me out, Chris!

2009-07-12T20:00:00.001-07:00

Wednesday, Linnley took out her endowments at the Bountiful temple. The night before, I had made arrangements to carpool up with my grandma, and she said, "Missy, just make sure you have your temple recommend before you go!" I'm thinking, "Uh, yeah, grandma, it's ALWAYS in my wallet, and I NEVER go without my wallet."

Just as we finished the 30 minute drive to the temple, I checked in my camera and searched the contents of my purse for my wallet. MIA. It wasn't there! Immediately I figured out that I had taken out my wallet to book some hotel reservations and failed to put it back. As soon as Chris answered his phone he was in action. I have the sweetest husband, to just drop everything and drive up to the temple with the P in tow to give me my golden ticket.

I was happy I brought my camera with me, because it helped to pass the time. It was just beautiful on the temple grounds!

Thankfully, Chris delivered the recommend with plenty of time to spare. We had a great session and now Linnley is one step closer to getting married! I can't believe it's just over 2 weeks away.

Duct Taped Pants & Self Made Long Board

2009-07-02T14:17:00.000-07:00

A while ago in 8th grade I paid a $20 fee to be in a skateboard-making club. I made a long board, and picked this really intricate design to silkscreen onto it. The only problem was that I had to cut out that design by hand with an Exacto. It took me a few months, but I finished it finally. And then, just a few minuets ago, I completed a pair of duct tape pants. I had taken a pair of pj bottoms that were ripping and covered them. It just happened that they match! Happiness. Here are the pics.

What a Wonderful Family I'm a Part Of.

2009-06-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

So it's the Night before Eric leaves and what do I find my brothers doing... comparing bellies and body hair. Yes, they're that manly. Melissa was kind enough to document their escapades, so here's the evidence...

Ping Pong + Bedsheets

2009-06-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what a Ping Pong table, white bedsheets and bright lights can do! A few weeks ago Penelope had a little glamour photoshoot. I think the images turned out really cute.

Give it a Whrrl-- Off to the Zoo

2009-06-20T00:28:00.000-07:00

We had a lot of fun today at the Zoo, mostly because Penelope is so stinking cute and getting more busy by the minute. I love it.

I'm trying out a new blog method, Whrrl. They're pretty cool, but there's a steep learning curve. It's pretty nifty you can do all your blogging from a mobile phone.

Newly Discovered Music

2009-06-11T19:46:00.000-07:00

For all of you who like the mashup thing you should give some of these a shot. I've wasted a few hours scouring the internet recently (since I have nothing better to do) and found some I like. The first one's by Ozzy, Kelly and Pink. The next one's a pretty simple mash by Imogen and U2. Finally I'll let you sort out this mess of alternative ballads from the last 10 years or so.

Don't hate me for being such a softy for pop (chris and eric).

Scorpion Survival

2009-06-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

Here he is, man of the hour!

For a couple of weeks now we've had a little scorpion friend keeping us company in the utility room adjacent to the garage. It's been nice to have a squirmy, creepy crawly around for moral support while shooting images for my book.

There he was, trapped, with no where to go. Poor Guy!

I'm so impressed he's lasted this long in the warm light fixture! Scorpions can, after all, survive over 3 weeks without water or food, plus I guess living in there wouldn't be too bad because bugs fall in there all the time (yum) and it's protected from any predators.

Today Chris was feeling particularly kind he took the light fixture off and released our pal into the wild. Good luck, Mascot.

Penelope's First Steps

2009-05-27T21:19:00.001-07:00

Just last Saturday, Chris was watching Penelope and thought it might be cool to see if she'd walk to him. Over the last week she had become far more confident in standing. So she did it! She walked. She's not off and running yet, but she stands a lot longer and may take a few steps.

It's really cute to see her walk. She just started grabbing at her chest to balance herself. It's really, really cute.

More Nelly Photos

2009-05-22T14:36:00.001-07:00

Last Sunday the lighting was just so even and beautiful I had to take that opportunity to get some more recent photos of our little girl. Penelope is becoming more and more like a toddler. It's just crazy to see her grow up.

Thanks Brooke for helping out with getting Penelope's attention!

Sunny, 107º with ZERO Chance of Snow

2009-05-20T00:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really hate blogger and how I can't adjust the image size without making it blurry. Oh well, you get the idea. Penelope left these puppies on for about five minutes without touching them! She's got a thing for glasses.

I still love my bike, but. . .

2009-05-15T18:23:00.000-07:00

This bike is freaking awesome:

Maybe I can win one. With my luck, it's possible!!

The Malshitz is at it again.

2009-05-07T13:19:00.000-07:00

Last night Shelley's tennis team had a party and Molly the Malshitz ate some people food. A lot of people food. I had a terrible feeling that we would see a repeat of the last time she ate people food (she pooped on the rug underneath our computer and I stepped in it with bare feet--GROSS). I was right. I'm always right.

This morning Linda asked Chris and I who had tramped poop up the stairs. I had no idea, I'd been taking care of the Nels downstairs the whole time. Chris said he hadn't. THEN, as linda walked up the stairs, she rephrased her question, "Who tramped poop DOWN the stairs?!?"

Chris started claiming innocence until he checked his slippers to prove it. The evidence was clear, it was Chris. We gingerly went up the stairs and investigated. Molly pooped right by our computer like last time, but this time NOT on the rug. HOWEVER. . . Chris unknowingly stepped in the poop and sat at the computer resting his sewage-smelling feet on the carpet in addition to spreading poop throughout the house.

Squeaky Clean

2009-04-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Chris for bringing me my camera during Pen's bath. Penelope was really cute today in the tub. It sure is a great remedy for a sour mood.

The Awful, Rotten, No Good, Stinking Rat

2009-04-28T22:16:00.000-07:00

A few days ago the Esplin laundry room started smelling a little foul. It started out smelling like moldy towels or dirty socks. Nothing new. Then a day or two passed and the smell went from bad to much, much worse. Molly Poop? Possible. Vomit? Likely. So Sunday afternoon, when the smell was starting to spread past the laundry room, brave, stomach-of-steel Linda decided to smell it out. She needed to find out what had gone terribly wrong.

She quickly diagnosed the problem was with the dryer, but couldn't quite find the source. She set Cordell and Chris to work. Cordell plummed the innards and Chris inspected the behind to find a dead rat.

Exhibit A:

The rat somehow found his way to the dryer vent and died, but not before losing control of his bodily fluids. By the time Chris and Cordell found him, he had started to bloat and his insides liquify. Looking at these images really brings back the smell.

Exhibit B:

Farewell dear rat. You will NOT be missed.

Happy Birthday Pen!

2009-04-22T18:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Penelope, Nelly, Nels Bells, Nels, Nels A PEA, Pearl, Belle, Goobie, Pen, Lope, PP, Little P, Miss P, Nelly Pea. . .

I can't believe that it was a whole year ago that you made your very timely debut. Not only were you born at just the right time to give Chris his full two weeks of parental leave, but you were also born on your cousin's birthday and Earth (aka Earf) day.

It's been a good/really, really stinking hard year. You've grown a lot. Your head is enormous. Your little body is slimming down and lengthening (boy, will I miss those chubs!) and learning how to do all sorts of cool things! You're scootching, almost crawling and just dying to walk. You've mastered sitting and drinking a bottle at the same time, drinking out of a straw, pulling yourself to stand, clapping, flapping your elbows around with your hands on your ears, being the center of attention, eating strange foods like sauerkraut and red curry.

We've had a great time with you this year. Happy birthday my dove. Your mommy and daddy love you oh so very much.

Super Penelope!

2009-04-12T23:47:00.001-07:00

It looks like she's about to do some serious damage. In her diaper.

Penelope Loves Her Daddy.

2009-04-12T23:19:00.000-07:00

Better than an Abacus. . .

2009-04-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

. . .but not much better.

Gramps was impressed to see Chris's handy-dandy iPhone, especially when he found out it cost the same amount as his first calculator.

Mining for Gold

2009-04-10T21:05:00.001-07:00

Looks like she found a hidden treasure. Y-U-M.

Allergy Season in Phoenix

2009-04-03T09:31:00.001-07:00

I'm surely glad I don't have to go anyplace today.

I'm an itchy puff ball.

Penelope & Olivia

2009-04-02T20:34:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we visited with the Raffy Taffys. We love them oh so dearly and we're so excited to be living closer to them!! Now Penelope & Olivia can be best of friends. They played really well together and all of us are blown away at how they seriously look like they could be sisters.
We also got a kick out of how stone-faced Olivia was. So funny.

Brooke's ingenuity

2009-03-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

Figure out this clever little rhyme. Brooke came up with it on her own.

A riddle only fiddles once,

but a fiddle riddles often.

Elder Esplin

2009-03-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

This guy has work to do.

His older brothers and sister will not be around to embarrass him.

He won't be finding many Easter eggs, and afternoon naps will be a distant memory.

Suns games? Nope. Trade in your play gun for a set of scriptures.

Elder Esplin is heading to the Honduras Tegucigalpa Mission in June to serve the Lord for

two years as a missionary. He's got work to do.

(btw: Penelope loves her Uncle Eric. Her face lights up when he comes near her. She will

miss out on a lot of fun for two years, but he'll be back to make her laugh again.)

First Time

2009-03-17T16:27:00.000-07:00

Penelope is listening to music with headphones for the first time. Her expressions show her delight and wonder. Too bad you can't hear her singing along.

The True Princess Penelope Pearl

2009-03-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

Penelope staked her claim by pulling handfuls of hair out of Molly's tail, which Molly completely ignored. The attendants to the princess had to get it out of Penelope's hand before it went into Penelope's mouth. Then she tried the only other thing a 10 month old can do. She ate some of Molly's food in return. Molly didn't care about that either, but you can guess that her mom and grandma did. When Penelope comes to stay for a while, the rules have to change a bit. Penelope gets to be the princess, and Molly has to learn to be a lady-in-waiting. It will take a few doggy treats.

Who's the Real Princess?

2009-03-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

Molly thinks she is the true princess. When Penelope came to visit last week, Molly found a pacifier and took it outside and chewed it up. Then she took a bottle outside and chewed it up. Then she got so bold as to take another pacifier out of Penelope's mouth. Then she ate some of Penelope's food.

Along The Great Wall of China

2009-03-05T17:18:00.001-08:00

Lindsay and Linda and Cordell, with the restored section of the Great Wall behind us.
The tourists are only allowed to visit a short section of the Wall, which the government

monitors. The government also owns and collects all of the profits from the shops at

the entrance to the Wall.
The wall was built by slave labor, with approximately one fifth of the population working on the wall at any given time. Eventually, it became so onerous and hated that the workers revolted. The wall was originally about 4,000 miles long, although the sections beyond Beijing were not nearly as big and sturdy. About half of the wall no longer exists, much of it having been cannibalized for the building of houses. Let's see, if 1/5 of the people worked on the wall, then how many of the rest worked to support the workers? Can we say "emperor of China" and "megalomaniac" in the same sentence?

At The Bird's Nest

2009-03-05T17:06:00.001-08:00

Do you remember seeing this beautiful building during the Beijing Olympics last summer? It was used for the track and field events, and the marathon, and probably some other events. Unfortunately, since China is run by communists, the building has been unused since then. They don't have any professional baseball teams, or football. They don't need concert venues, and they don't have professional bull riding or monster truck shows. That would be way too capitalist. So they charge high prices to tourists who want to go inside, but you can wander around the outside for free as long as you have your guide with you. The Cube, in which the swimming events took place, has also been empty and unused. What a shame and a waste. If anybody really wants the government to take over running our country, they should spend a week in China. It's an oppressive place.

Penelope wins the award for the MOST adorable

2009-03-04T22:22:00.000-08:00

I think the title of this post has become my new mantra, I say it often enough! Here are some new photos of this adorable little one. I can't believe she's nearing a year.

Penelope is "worming" all over the place. When I say worming, it's because it's not crawling, not scooting, it seriously looks like she's doing the worm dance move. I love it.

Penelope's learning better how to pull herself to stand, which is making my life LOADS easier. Also, she said her first words! The other day, after she pulled herself to stand she whispered, "diditdidit" a bunch of times. It was all slurred together, but I'm MOST certain it was her mimicking me saying, "YOU DID IT!"

She's also learning how to play by herself, I also discovered that she doesn't mind me coming and going as long as talk radio is on.

I Did Not Take This Photograph

2009-03-04T12:45:00.000-08:00

On principle, I just wouldn't photograph a public toilet that I was about to use. These lovely Asian squat toilets appear throughout Hong Kong and China, and they take a time or two to adjust to using them. They are not any cleaner than regular toilets, but at least you don't have to come close to sitting on them. You do have to watch your step. The stalls also do not have toilet paper. If you are lucky, the bathroom has paper available from one dispenser near the sinks. However, everyone carries their own packages of tissues because it is usually necessary to bring your own. BYOTP.

Lucy Lower Lip

2009-03-03T00:40:00.000-08:00

When I was little, my nickname was Lucy Lower Lip, because I had a pout that had no equal. My parents thought it was the funniest thing [I hated it, because I was so distraught and didn't want my parents to take my woes so lightly]. Penelope did it last night. We all were a little wired last night, and Penelope wanted to let everyone know this was NO laughing matter.

I also thought it was HILARIOUS to see her face go bright red. I couldn't contain myself while I was filming/editing the video.

2009-03-02T16:11:00.000-08:00

WELCOME HOME LINDSAY!!!!!!

ScorpionSurvival.com

2009-02-16T11:26:00.001-08:00

There's a new survival supplies website that just made its debut on a prominent survival blog. ScorpionSurvival.com is contributing a model 1400 Pelican Case to the auction with hopes that it might drive some decent traffic and people will buy wilderness survival supplies. Wish me luck!

Penelope gets her first Valentine

2009-02-16T10:12:00.000-08:00

Penelope is the sweetest girl by far. Very true. The cutest, too.

Blow Out. Big Time.

2009-02-16T10:04:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't be a good mother if I didn't talk about Penelope's poops, and take the occasional poopy photo. She's never really blown out of her diaper before, not until Friday night, anyway. We had just finished dinner, some friends had come over to hang out and Chris smells some stink. We're both thinking it's all normal, until Chris pulled off her onesie to discover green avocado/grape poop all up her back.

I was SO glad that a) we weren't at someone else's house b) our friends were there to witness this hilarious mess and c) Chris was home to help out. It took us a good 30 minutes, a bath and two showers to consolodate the mess. Wow. So funny.

More Marshmallows Please!

2009-02-13T15:10:00.001-08:00

This darling little girl was so fun in the kitchen yesterday. Not only did she discover the joys of banging pots and pans, but she also helped mom clean off the marshmallow remnants from the spatula, whisk and bowl. The fun ended when she realized that there was no more left.

Beyond Weeds.....Way Beyond

2009-02-09T15:49:00.000-08:00

With apologies to Brooke, can you guess what's in this photo? If you guess a type of food, you win a completely free copy of the recipe. It began as a school project, which is all well and good. She thought that since the recipe was tied to her Czech heritage, that it would be extra special to make. She's good at following recipes, even if she leaves the salt out of the banana bread occasionally. But somehow just the thought of Czech dumplings in a meatless gravy sounds way too gelatinous to me. She produced the recipe, and it looked just like this and tasted just like it looks. We each had just a spoonful. The modernized meatless version is not an improvement. Give us some beef and carrots and onions, and more vegetables from the garden, and maybe a few dumplings on the top. I promise, her great great grandparents knew how to eat much better than this.

Devin "Moses" Gardner

2009-02-06T09:22:00.001-08:00

This is Brooke's friend, Devin Gardner. She and Brooke and the rest of the gang came home from school when I was busy with Junior burning weeds. They were quite interested, since most 13 years old have a natural interest in burning up stuff. So I continued to tell them how much fun I was having, and showed them exactly what was happening to each weed, and they kept watching and talking about it until they were all drooling and begging to take a turn. It was quite a bit like Tom Sawyer and the white washing of the fence.

Brooke was first, and she seemed fine, so I ran inside for a quick drink of water. All was well upon my return. They had switched operators. I watched for a bit, then asked if they were okay while I went to get a rake. By the time I got back, smoke was billowing out into the street, and Annie Lambert had already gotten a hose and was spraying down the bush. Devin had gotten her turn with Junior and came too close to the bush and set it aflame. It's a dry grass type of bush and it went up in a hurry. Quick thinking Annie knew right where to find the hose, and got it down there very quickly and put out the fire. I guess Moses didn't have a hose.

The Big Dog

2009-02-06T09:14:00.003-08:00

Move over Junior, the Big Dog has arrived. This weed incinerator throws flames across wide swaths of gravel and destroys all life in its path. It's a Calvin and Hobbs dream. Actually Cordell borrowed it from Roy Hatch, and it's not quite as effective in real life, but it's more powerful than Junior and saves time. The large green expanses of the front yard have been transformed into large blackened expanses. If it rains as predicted this weekend, it should wash the rocks up nicely. Our weed killing is not finished, but Cordell and the Big Dog have made lots of progress. At least we now have the right tool. Well, Roy has the right tool. Cordell has to go buy his own.

Junior

2009-02-06T08:58:00.001-08:00

This is Junior, our entry into the second chapter of weed control. Note the canister of propane on one end. The other end shoots out fire when you light it up, which makes it a very mini flame thrower. Weeds don't like flame throwers, even if they are very mini in size. Of course you have to aim at each individual weed and wait until that individual weed has been crisped and blackened into vegetative oblivion. No boiled spinach here; just ash.

The problem, of course, is that Junior is meant for a stove. The pressure is great for boiling water to make hot chocolate when you're camping, although even then it seems like you have to wait a while. Then the anticipation makes it worth the wait. Here the anticipation can be a bit frustrating. So Junior is a little underpowered.

The advantage: Junior has its place working under and around plants that you don't want flash flamed.

The disadvantage: You can't even fire it up unless you are prepared to take a shower because you smell like you've been playing in the campfire for hours. After burning weeds for a little while, the entire neighborhood smells like a campground and the neighbors are out looking for the fire.

Buns of Methuselah

2009-02-02T18:05:00.000-08:00

Alas, I have no photograph. Double alas, I have no Buns of Methuselah. Somebody cleaned out the bread drawer and threw them away. Cordell denies it. Shelley denies. Brooke never throws anything away. That leaves Eric as the prime suspect. He thought they were gross, anyway. I am not exactly distraught over the loss, but I am severely disappointed. I bought that package of buns about the time that Lindsay went to Hong Kong (October 2007), and they are so saturated with preservatives that they haven't grown any mold. They weren't exactly rock hard, either. I had intended to triumphantly pull them from the drawer and have a good laugh with Lindsay, and then we could throw them away together. It's a girl thing. Eric doesn't understand. Oh well. It's over. At least we know that hamburger buns would be safe in a year's supply of food, even on the shelf. Maybe they're best just left on the shelf.

Penelope: 2, Melissa: 1

2009-01-30T16:37:00.000-08:00

Penelope: Ha. I'm going to rip off my diaper
Mom: Ha, Ha! I'm going to take a photo and embarrass you later with it!
Penelope: HA, HA, HA!! I'm going to pee on the carpet right after you take the photo!

Triple Digits

2009-01-25T15:44:00.000-08:00

Green Problems, Green Solutions

2009-01-25T13:56:00.001-08:00

Winter rains bring

winter green to the

Valley of the Sun.

Our lawn looks great,

especially after Brooke

mows it. She pulls out

the old/new reel push

mower on Saturdays

and silently criss crosses

the two patches of grass

in the back yard. Then she asks for her $10 which is gladly given.

However, rain falls on the just and unjust alike, which means the grass

and the weeds both get watered. This particularly healthy weed is one

of dozens and dozens that has sprung up all over the yard. So we are

in the weed killing mode. Cordell and I have different methods of

solving problems, and that includes weed killing. I suggested a more

environmentally friendly attack for round one and he agreed.

My solution: BOILING WATER

As you can see, it is immediate and effective. However,

it takes time and can only cover small areas. For the

small beds by the back door, it works well.

Cordell has gone to work in the front yard with a

sprayer full of VINEGAR, with a bit of soap added.

It takes a few days and requires some sunshine,

but can certainly cover larger areas. His weeds

are looking a bit droopy today.

We really should work together, because the

wilted spinach aroma is drifting from the backyard

and mixing with the redolence of the vinegar in the

front yard. We could

add a little oil and have salad on

the Esplinade.

Rooted!

2009-01-18T15:47:00.000-08:00

I've been exercising a bit of artistic discretion this weekend. And this is my favorite piece so far.

More Fishnet Pics

2009-01-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

I couldn't help but make another post about Penelope's fishnet outfit.

So, I have some fishnet socks (not stockings, they go just above my ankles), and I thought it'd be funny to see if they fit Penelope. Too perfect.

She looks so sweet and grown up in this picture!

I love my little wild child. She's just too cute.

2009-01-15T10:58:00.000-08:00

Either Brooke is trying to make a quick exit through

the doggie door, or Molly just couldn't quite manage

to get Brooke's shoe through the door. Molly does

have a habit of taking her favorite shoes and socks

outside, but it's kind of hard to tell from this angle.

Hmmm.....

Pubescent Tooth Fairy Expectations

2009-01-14T10:22:00.000-08:00

Note found pegged to the bedroom door. Ransom paid.

(note says: I hereby demand a fee for lost or damaged property. In this case, both. The item in question is a tooth, and the fee in question is $5 paid in full by the year of 2009, January 1. We appreciate your compliance.

Below is sed tooth.)

Linda's in Big T

2009-01-14T10:06:00.000-08:00

I ate a brownie without permission. Actually, I ate a brownie when I had been told

not to eat a brownie. I can tell Brooke, however, that it was one of the most exquisite brownies I have ever eaten, and not because it was taken on the sly. She's a great brownie baker.

Give Me Attention!!

2009-01-12T15:57:00.000-08:00

Bed hair: Cute
Pinky finger: So Proper
Chewing my old phone: Funny
Giggly grin: Sweeter Than Sweet
Waking up at 1am and 4:30am: SO RUDE.

This Little Piggy Survived

2009-01-12T10:50:00.000-08:00

Penelope's toys are being massacred!!! NO, not really, but I thought it was so funny to find this little piggy hanging by a velcro. Too cute.

demolition derby

2009-01-09T11:47:00.000-08:00

A few crumbs, a few smears of chocolate. These are the sweet remains of a demolished

yule log. We all loved it. Thank you, Melissa, for taking the time to make it, and for

leaving it at our house for us to eat.